The story of James & Betty

This is a true story. It happened just last month.



There is a couple named James and Betty, they lived in a little cottage down by the beach. It seemed to me they lived here forever. Well, I think it was about 50 years... so in a way it was.



If you were to take a walk on the beach or through the neighboring salt marsh, you would probably seeing James and Betty out too, walking hand in hand, sometimes stopping to watch the waves or the birds and wildlife. Then, about five years ago ,Betty started showing signs of dementia. Eventually it became full blown Alzheimer's disease and Becky began failing to recognize family members, including her own husband of 64 years.



So one night in September, 84 year old James tried to kill himself and his wife via carbon monoxide poisoning that he piped into his home through a hose connected to an Oldsmobile idling in his driveway. His plan to die peacefully beside his wife of 64 years was interrupted by a neighbor who was walking his dog and noticed the pipe running into the residence.



James admitted that he intended to kill his wife and prosecutors sought to keep James in jail on a $ 1- million bond. A superior court judge said the case called for compassion and set bail at $ 100,000.



The couple were extraordinarily close, and James was his wife's primary caregiver as she descended into dementia over the past four years.



James plead no contest to a count of attempted murder, and the charge of elder abuse was dropped. Betty is now residing permanently in a nursing home, from all appearances, out of harm's way.



James spoke of "the crucial night" as resulting from compassion for his wife and his desire to prevent their separation.

The defense said it will push for probation due to lack of a criminal record and the unusual circumstances of the case. But the deputy district attorney said James could still face severe punishment at his sentencing, set for early January. An attempted murder conviction could bring anything from probation to life in prison.

James will undergo a psychiatric evaluation before sentencing and will be watched closely to be sure he follows his bail terms, which include no driving and no unsupervised contact with his wife.

He recently made a visit to see Betty, with his children as monitors.

He sang to her.

She hummed along.

Last week at our Anniversary dinner, my husband and I decided that if we are ever to find ourselves in similar circumstances, we should have a plan. It is heartbreaking any way you look at it, to surrender lives, or to be separated after a lifetime of companionship, bestfriendship. The only state in the U.S. where physician assisted suicide is legal is Oregon, called the Death with Dignity Act. I know that this is a highly emotional subject, one where there is just no easy answer.

Except, i think James and his wife should be together. In whatever capacity they decide. What are your thoughts about this?

xx lori