Monday, December 31, 2012

there's no place like home



hello dear friends. how are you? i am fine, feeling a bit out of practice here, unable to find my voice for a time. i've been home. spending many hours in my favorite place, my room pictured above. it could be said i was alone, but that is far from true. you see, evidence of friendship surrounds me here. friendships made where i live and in the not so virtual blog world.

even though i wish it came natural for me to talk about what's inside my heart, and how it's been hurt, it is easy telling you that your kindness and concern towards me is like a warm hug that makes all the difference. thank you for checking in, my mom always did say i had the very best friends.

moving into light...did you have a good christmas? would you like to hear my favorite christmas story this year? first, four of my children came home for the holidays, always the best gift of all (but look what my baby girl, who turned twenty two this month, gave to me: a day we spent together here. heaven.) my middle son didn't come, staying instead at his home in brooklyn. so i prepared a box for him, christmas in a box. inside went a string of lights, packaged cocoa and marshmallows, a new mug. his stocking stuffed and gifts wrapped. i filled the box to the brim, if he couldn't be home for christmas, i would send it to him (and a little of me as well). off it went the beginning of december, feeling pretty pleased i had finally been so organized. i let him know to be on the lookout, and he was happy too   :)
days went by and the box had not arrived. i tried not to worry, but did anyway. on saturday december twenty second, the message came, still no box, and my heart sank. we weren't sure if there would be delivery's on the twenty fourth, i tried not to cry, he would be okay i reasoned, it would be okay.

christmas eve. still no box. erik went off to his job that evening. i couldn't sleep thinking about it. after everyone went to bed i sat up with all the lights dimmed, sitting alone with the twinkling tree, when i saw my phone light up too. it was exactly midnight, what? who?

it was my son. he had just gotten home from work, it was three a.m., christmas morning. and he was calling to tell me that there on his doorstep, was the box. christmas had arrived! (santa clause!) maybe i am just turning into a silly old woman? but i truly had the feeling that nothing else mattered. the thing i wished for most of all came true. and that is what i wish for you in the coming year, along with much health and happiness and astonishment and love, that you have the complete and total feeling of nothing else mattering every once in a while.
wishing you the happiest of new years, welcome twenty thirteen.  :)

65 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you're back, Lori
    I've wondered and missed you
    happy New Year ~ Melissa

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  2. So glad the baby woke me and I found this in my reader. I've been fretting about you, but was never quite brave enough to email. Welcome back and Happy New Year!

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  3. I'm sorry you are sad. Sending much love and blessings for the New Year.
    xxx

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  4. Dear Lori, may this year be a happy and a healing one... I missed your posts and I am so glad to hear from you again! <3

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  5. You know that if I could I would jet over there and give you the biggest hug. Thinking of you xxx

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  6. Dear Lori, I'm so happy to hear from you! You know that I can imagine how important that packet was to be in time. Even you had to worry, I think this way it was even more appreciated - waiting at the doot in the Christmas night - i got tears in my eyes! I wish you happiness, health and all the best for the year 2013! x Teje

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  7. You're back! Happy new year, lovely lady, and thanks for that beautiful Christmas tale. Big love to you from across the seas xx

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  8. Happy New Year Lori. Best Wishes for 2013.
    Glad your son got his christmas box in time.
    Love and hugs, Emma.
    Thank you so much for the e-card.

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  9. Dear, wonderful Lori,

    You have been on my mind. A good cup of coffee or tea, or maybe something stronger, would be wonderful to share with you this minute. We wouldn't have to talk much. Just be.

    Father Christmas is a wonderful man too. He delivered your son's box. After the dark comes light. Let us trust in the new year and all hold hands together and hope.

    love,

    Stephanie

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  10. Oh Lori, I am SO glad you are ok!! I've missed you and wondered how you were getting on. Sometimes those dark bits in life just knock us for six but behind the clouds there is always more sun. May 2013 be all that you wish it to be, dear mama..... thinking of you a lot xxxxx hugs Evi

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  11. I am sorry to read you have been feeling sad......
    I hope your heart will heal dear.
    Sometimes it needs a little miracle like that Christmas package showing up just in time to make us see life's little wonders again.
    For me it was that my son showed up as a surprise a few minutes after midnight to wish his Mom a happy New Year!
    This was a sparkle of joy I needed.
    hope you feel like yourself soon again dear!
    happy New Year!!!!
    ♥M

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  12. Dear Lori,
    So glad to hear that your son's Christmas box arrived just in time!
    I'm sorry to hear that you have been dealing with heart ache.
    I wish you a wonderful new year filled with peace and possibility, love and opportunity, health and happiness.
    Blessings, Tammy

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  13. Dear Lori I am sorry that your heart has been so sad recently...I was worried about you and thought of you often. The story of your son's Christmas box arriving just in time is so wonderful.....it was meant to be after all.
    Sending you warmest wishes for happiness, joy, health, love and creative fulfillment in the year to come, and most of all for peace in your heart.
    Happy New Year.
    Warm hugs!
    Helen x

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  14. Hi Lori,
    Thinking of you and hope this new year soothes your heartache and brings light, contentment and happiness into your heart.
    Your Christmas story was so beautiful, it gave me such a warm feeling!
    Am sending best wishes...
    xo

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  15. Hi Lori,

    I wondered where you'd gone...I thought on one of your long adventures.

    Hope you have an amazing new year and that 2013 brings all that you wish for you and yours...and a little bit more too.
    Debx

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  16. Just reading these comments says so much about you....
    Reminds me in the darkest time light will find you because that's who you are and how you live

    Together strong, sf, together strong

    And Erik's package: just like Renee's we treasure you chest. I tracked it into Canada for weeks and I worried and just about have up. It arrived on Christmas Eve, late in the day, our gifts to our friend who would open each loving reminder, with her family, in a testament of true love just weeks before she was called to be a senior angel

    With love always
    kj

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  17. Hi Lori! I was wondering where my globe-trotting-adventurous friend had been. I'm so sorry you've been feeling sad. 2012 was not the best year of my life, but like you, seeing 4 of our 6 on Christmas, and chatting with the other two (thank goodness for Skype) made my day. Here's to good friends and good times in 2013 - sending you hugs! xox

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  18. PS I am so glad Santa made it to your son's house in time! xo

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  19. Dear Lori, I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through a difficult time. May this new year bring you light and peace. May the love that surrounds you (from near and far) heal your heart.

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  20. Did you get my message? I have been wondering where you have been. So glad to start the year out reading a bit from you your Blog. The spa looks simply wonderful! And Erik's box??? That is such a Santa move!
    Love to you Dear Lori♥
    xoxo

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  21. Dear Lori,

    Was sorry to read that you heart has been heavy and I hope that 2013 will bring you much light and happiness and love and burdens lifted!!

    Sending much love your way! Silke

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  22. My dearest friend, I think of you often and say a little prayer for you.
    A silly old woman? No way, just a mama who loves her babies. Thank you
    for sharing such an amazing Christmas story.
    I am so happy to see you in this space, it's made my new year all the
    better.
    Sending nothing but the best of wishes and thoughts your way!

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  23. Dear Lori I am so glad to see you again,
    I have been wondering what happen, thinking you might,like me be to busy to post.
    I am sorry you have been sad, hope though that 2013 can bring some light into your heart
    My kids where home over the holidays and we've had an additional New Zealand friend here to !
    Right now we are twelve people, adding little cousins from Sweden, around our dinnertable!
    Sending your warm thoughts from Vienna, Austria

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  24. Missed you. Hugs and all the best for the new year.

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  25. I was just thinking about you yesterday. Glad to hear that you're still around, quiet or not. Have a great new year, Lori. Wishing you all the love and light you can stand! (:

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  26. What a perfect story to end the year and start a new one. Wishing you a happy (and happier) new year!

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  27. You are just wonderful Lori. I am so glad Christmas arrived for you son, just in time. Maybe a Christmas miracle?
    Glad to hear you have been taking some quiet time, we all need that. Enjoy your crafting! Look forward to another year with you in my life. You are a treasure.

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  28. I'm sorry you've been sad and hurt. May 2013 bring you happiness and joy, smiles and love. :-)

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  29. I think seeing a post from you was a bright light for your virtual friends. I know it was for me.
    I love Erik's Christmas story♥ The Universe does provide for us when we believe it will. And Santa too :)

    I'm sorry your heart is sad. I know I can't hold anything in when I'm hurt and I blurt it all out. But if you have just one person to share your burden with, that's enough to let you release some of the hurt. You're not meant to carry your burden alone.

    I wish you a healed heart in 2013 and so much more.
    You're a bright beacon in my life.

    love always,

    Lo♥♥♥

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  30. Lori, my heart lightened when I saw that you had posted. Thanks for sharing your magical Christmas story... and was relieved at the happy ending! I am sending you hugs to comfort your heavy heart. You are definitely a light in the lives of many. We care about you. Wishes for a magical 2013.

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  31. Happy New Year dear Lori. You found a bright spot thru the sadness and decided to dwell on the happiness of that. And you found a way to reach out after an absence which is so hard, I think of it like trying to open a very tight lid on a jar of pickles! And always there is hope here.
    xx
    julie

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  32. Dearest friend, Not hearing from you left me concern and I felt that something was wrong. Now, I know why the apron chose you! I've felt a connection to you since we met in blog land and know how much your children mean to you. I did laugh a bit with your worry over not hearing from your son about the box; I drive my kids crazy checking every minute..."did it come!"
    Wishing you a serene 2013 and hoping your heart heals; I know it takes time, but I'm here, XOXO

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  33. oh lori, i am so glad you are back. i am sorry you have been hurting, hopefully a new year is a new start. and what a christmas miracle! christmas in a box arrived on christmas! have a wonderful new year full of many adventures. <3

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  34. Dear Lori,
    Your Christmas story is one for the ages ... meant to be shared over and over again for many Christmases to come. I had all four of my children in Bend for Christmas, the first time in at least fifteen years since we were all able to share the holiday.

    I took a good LONG look at your amazing blog this morning, following you to Alaska, on the adventures with your husband and family, the knitting projects AND the spectacular photos! You are supremely talented.

    ... sending you wishes of good cheer for the New Year ... hoping your heart heals soon.

    Helen

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  35. Dear Lori,

    Your light & kindness has touched so many including me, thank you with all my heart. May the new year bring you peace & joy.

    Take good care.

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  36. Dear Lori
    So glad to hear from you! My heart hurts for you that you have had a rough time, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay safe and connected, we all care a great deal for you.

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  37. Lori,
    Oh dear... so happy am I that your box arrived at your son's Christmas eve I am crying!!! how wonderful, magical and beautiful this world really is (even though it seems not so at times).
    Much love sent to you for a wonderful 2013.x

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  38. so happy to see you back!
    sending love & happiness your way!
    Happy Twenty Thirteen xo

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  39. New Year's greetings to you, Lori. I've also been missing your posts and do hope that the New Year we now enter, and the growing daylight hours will be kind to you.

    I so appreciate your multiple talents and sensitivities, and do agree with you about Home.

    xo

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  40. Hi Lori,

    Wishing you and your family a Happy, Healthy and Creative New Year! Glad to hear all your Christmas wishes came true.

    Madelief x

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  41. Dear Lori,
    Just to let you know I am thinking of you and wish for you all good things in this new year of 2013. Kia Kaha

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  42. Dear Lori,

    I hope that your heart is a little lighter. I was just thinking of you and hoping all was well. Home for me is my most favorite place to me!!!! Both of my two kids are home and it's been quite busy (and noisy). Take care dearie!!!!

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  43. Lori, you have been in my heart so often these last weeks. I've missed you <3.

    That is the loveliest Christmas story that I have heard this season! I am glad that you got to spend the holiday surrounded by the rest of your children, and that your son received a big box of mom's love just in time.

    2012 was a challenging year for almost everyone I know. I do hope that good things are to come in 2013. Wishing you peace and joy in the days ahead. ~Susan

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  44. Dear Lori,

    Hope you are ok, your post send out such warmth . I do hope you get our love and warmth back.
    Sending love through the air to you .

    Susan xx

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  45. Sweet Lori, I have been so worried about you, checking your spot here in the blogging world religiously to see if you were okay. I thought maybe you were traveling and I somehow missed that..

    What a wonderful Christmas story and I am happy that even though your son was unable to come home, you were able to send a piece of you to him.

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  46. Dear Lori,

    May you find strength within to overcome your broken heart. You've been missed by many while you were away; sometimes we need to take a step back from our lives to do some reevaluation. I was hoping that you were just that busy knitting up a ton of Christmas presents for your loved ones and that you would be, one by one, presenting them to us with a story attached. When I read your blog my heart sank for you, I pray that you will find inner peace and happiness before to long and that your life will once again be filled with all things that make you smile. Thank you for all you do for us here on your blog.

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  47. Hi Lori. I've been thinking about you so much. Hoping you're doing ok. Your christmas story struck a chord with me and made me realize that no matter how old our children are, we will always feel that way...wanting them to be happy and the relief we feel when they are. My older boys received brand new presents for Christmas and neither of them worked. My older boy realized there is no "big guy in red" on Christmas day and I had to have that talk. I knew that presents weren't the most important thing, but when your little boys are disappointed, it's a rough one on mom and dad!!!! In the end, all was well and toys were returned and exchanged for working ones. Wishing you a wonderful new year and may your days be happier. -Leanne

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  48. My dear Lori, I'm glad to see you back here; I've been worried. Sending wishes for a sweet and peaceful new year, and hoping that whatever ails your heart will be healed. love, Kristen

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  49. your Christmas story made me cry!! So glad to "hear" from you in this space. love, Ginny

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  50. welcome back Lori, you have been missed!! Thank you for sharing this story, it was beautiful and a big fat HOORAY for your son!!!
    I hope you had a wonderful New Year, and may joy fill you up this year!!
    xo

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  51. It is a Christmas miracle! I am so glad he got his package and I am so glad to see your post. Best wishes for 2013.

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  52. Oh Lori, I am sending you all my love! Gesche

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  53. so glad to see you back in the space lori!

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  54. There is still a little bit of magic in the world isn't there? sorry for the sadness, but I guess we need that to balance out the gladness and keep us all human.
    with love for a happy new year, mim

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  55. so glad Santa and his US postal service elves were able to come through!!! hope the new year will bring you joy and peace

    hugs
    xo

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  56. Hi Lori, I´ve been away from the blog world and I missed visiting you but here I am again wishing you all the best things to this new year of 2013. Hoping you are feeling better today and sending you lots of love. You are a special friend, I am far but always thinking of you :o)
    xoxo
    Mina

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  57. Welcome back Lori, I'm happy you get back on track!

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  58. By my calculation, 58 people and counting who are damn glad you're back.

    Maybe 60, because I'm counting myself three times :-)

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  59. Yay! I'm happy that you've returned!
    Hi Lori! My name's Moni. We haven't met, though, I've been enjoying your beautiful blog for awhile already.
    I know that you are pure heart and whatever it is that has come to you will be met by your true pure essence and transformed.
    Please continue to grace us with your beauty and love.
    Lots of Love to you.

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  60. It's wonderful to see you blogging again dear friend, I am so sorry you are going through a difficult time. Sending you love and light.
    xo xo
    Linda

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  61. hugs to you, friend. What a wonderful gift! So glad his box arrived and your wish fulfilled. (I went to my cousin's wedding in Ojai many years ago. It was gorgeous)

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  62. So happy to find you blogging again, and so sorry that you've been having a tough time. May 2013 bring you healing and happiness x

    Loved the story of the Christmas box ... maybe we adults should believe in Father Christmas after all!

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  63. that was very sweet of you. I wish you are my mom =)

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  64. I am sure that I would stay awake too, fretting about that Christmas box.

    You've been missed.

    Hugs...

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xoxo lori