Saturday, February 28, 2009

Sacred Spaces

My daughter moved out today...
...she's my oldest child. Oh, she'd been out before, for almost ten years. Then after a series of unfortunate circumstances, she was back. With two children in tow (the doodles).

...I actually didn't find this out until this afternoon. I was walking to one of my favorite places, The Sacred Space, when I got her phone call.

"Mom! I found a place, it's perfect. We'll be out today!"

..."Just like that?" I say...

"I know, it's sudden, but it's right" she tells me.

...Wasn't this what I wanted? Hadn't I been hoping for the empty nest? to begin the next phase of my life? Time for me?

The Sacred Space
Lillie Avenue, Summerland ,California

...I know that she needs to do this. She needs her own space.
A place to raise her children in her own way...

...when I come to The Sacred Space it's for inspiration, not usually to buy anything. But this time I came already inspired, I wanted to find something to grace my daughter's new home...

" ...when your home is the sacred space it's a constant reminder to stay conscious, and to be in loving harmony with your being...."

...i must have looked a little bewildered, standing there surrounded by dozens and dozens of choices. What would be best to gift my daughter with? A lovely sales person came up to me and asked would you like some tea while you look? yes please. Look what she brought me. See this beautiful tray with Yogi Tea and raw sugar?

...I found something with these words on it:
create your own sacred space of Intention.
simple items to create your space.
A medium rug
an altar
a Buddha, Quan Yin or your favorite deity
a picture of a family member
a candle
an offering bowl for your intention
flowers, seeds, shells, incense.

...would a new Buddha be best?...

...she already has plenty of family pictures...

... the Datura, or Angel's trumpet...

...oh wouldn't it be nice to just live here?...

...crystals are a good option, but I had better decide, I want to get home to help her move.

...I made my choice and then started walking back. I didn't know what I was feeling, happy or sad, or maybe a little of both.

...all the way home, I kept thinking of her, all the stages of her life. I thought about where I may have let her down as a mother, where I could have done a better job. I know better than to think these thoughts, we do the best we can. It's all we can do.

...I worry about my doodles too. It's not easy being a single Mom. I think that's true no matter where in this world you call home.

...even though I was in a hurry , I can't seem to pass up the beach.
I have to have a look.

...when I got home, she was already gone.
She came back once for something forgotten, and we hugged and she said sorry this is so sudden. And at that moment I told her (as I gave her her gift), it's Okay.
oh lord.
p.s. she called tonite and said the oldest doodle was in heaven, the place comes with Direct T.V. and he now gets every sports channel. Oh good. Now, I'm really Ok.
Love, Lori


  1. Aww Lori, I can completely understand that it's sad that she's moving on... but a happy occasion too.

    You raised her to be a strong wonderful woman and you're just a stone's throw away for when she needs support.

    Beautiful photos as always, they really evoke a wonderful serene feeling.

    Aside: I grew up in a town called Summerland here in BC... Pretty and peaceful in it's own way.

    Blessings to you and yours.

  2. Dear Meagan, your words are a balm to my soul right now. Thank you so much,they really help...
    xxx lori

  3. Lori, Firstly, you don't look old enough to be a grandma. :D

    I was feeling along side you, and how could you possibly concentrate in a gorgeous shop like that? Must have been a bit of a shock at first.

    Your daughter sounded like she 'knew' what was right for her and the doodles, and that can only be a real positive for all.

    She is lucky to have such a warm and loving soul for her mom, and I am guessing she has picked up quite alot of your wisdom to hold her in good stead.

    Missing them is understandable and natural, who wouldn't? She is still your baby, no matter how old she is. Sending you a big squeezie cuddle.
    Love, Natalie.xx♥♥

  4. Ohhh! It must be unusually quiet now. Although we welcome peace and privacy we will always miss the chaos caused by our loved ones who moved on. They will always be babies to us.

  5. I love the photos of the ducks immensely.

  6. Dearest Lori, everything is right. And yet I am weeping just a tiny bit with you, because that`s what I did when my girls moved out,too. But think of how incredibly wonderful it was for Kim to know she could turn to you when she needed a home, and support, and love. She could recover, and gather strength, and now it was time to moce on. Everything is right. For every thing there is a season, and a time for everything under the heavens...
    So even though it was a quick decision (for her the parting was hard, too, don`t forget that, so that`s why she chose this way), you were prepared for it, and you are one who can let go. She and the doodles will love you all the more for it.
    I am sending you all my love! Geli

  7. Lori, my goodness that was a lovely post. I understand the bittersweet joy/sorrow that you must have gone through.

    I love the idea of giving an object to help create a sacred space. That store was beautiful...almost overwhelming to me too. What did you buy? (secret?)
    The walk through the green tunnel path was incredible. I'm so glad you took us by the beach as well.

    Btw the word verification pattern was "triste"- you know that means "sad" in English translation?
    I so understand the feeling of loss associated with children growing up and becoming independent. Thanks for sharing your open heart! It warms mine. <3

  8. I love those pictures.

  9. what beautiful pictures, Lori. The Sacred Space is amazing! It sounds like they have moved somewhere not too far away, since it was so quick? Hopefully you will still be able to see them quite often, in that case... I know how you feel when kids move on... happy that they are finding their own way, sad because you miss them, especially with the doodles being so young! I know you were/are the best mom/grandma! love and hugs from africa xxx

  10. Lori~
    That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us.
    I do agree that your children are so very Blessed to have you as their Mom. You surely have given them the greatest gifts of Motherhood and I can only imagine that they are every bit as wonderful as you.
    Your journey postings are so inspiring and beautiful. Your writing touches me on so many levels.

  11. What a beautiful post. It popped up in my long-running Google Alert for "Summerland, BC" and I clicked in just for fun, having no idea there would be such beauty here.

  12. oh Lori - theres so much to take in here - beauty and emotion, amazing images, and thoughts. I hope you are ok and not missing them all too much? Maybe its better it all happened so fast? At least it sounds they are not too far away?
    I could have spent all day browsing that Sacred Space with you! and the walk there and back.
    thoughts with you x

  13. I guess you have to let go eventually but it's still one of the hardest things you will ever have to do.

    Thanks for sharing these stunning photographs.

    CJ xx

  14. Lovely pictures. I agree that the home should be a sacred space.

    Having just moved my family out of my dad's house, I know what it feels like on that end. It's a hard thing, but good at the same time. Why is it that our biggest blessings in life can also seem like the biggest trails? I hope you still get to see them a lot still.

  15. I want to live in The Sacred Place. Gorgeous. Places like this inspire me to be creative. Love the pictures. We have had ours move in and out so many times it isn't funny. The first time one came back my husband kept singing the song "Its the end of the world as we know it".


  16. Oh, Lori, you are so good for me. What a beautiful post, thank you so much. I hope to find a "sacred place" like the one you found. As for your daughter, she will always be your little girl, and she will become stronger on her own. We all know that in our hearts, don't we? But it's not easy.

  17. wow, beautiful pictures, Lori. I love how they all correlate with your story. I hope things get easier for you :)

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  19. Lori, as I read your post and came to the part where you said you returned home and she was already gone, my heart just sank. I could feel your heart hurt and your disappointment.
    I too have dealt with children returning home and moving on to begin new lives. I have had the moments of the deep thoughts about how I failed them. The 'If onlys' conversation. I became tearful for a moment and was so glad that you didn't continue to beat yourself up. Because I could relate so well, I felt comforted when your daughter gave you that one small fragment of hope that everything was ok.
    It's amazing how hopeful we can become over the slightest bit of good news. Thank God for the relief that came to you so that you could settle the noise in your head and be glad for your daughter.

  20. Lori, you post today was beautiful and breathtaking. A visit to your Blog is a little slice of heaven in my ordinary Day. I found you blog through the Blog of Note award. It truly is a Blog of note.

    Have you ever read the book Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach? She speaks of alters.

    Also, I love the book Little Alters Everywhere by Rebecca Wells.

    Thanks you!

  21. What beautiful heartfelt words, Lori, and incredibly beautiful photographs. Would love to be at that special Space for a visit. Your words and emotion are a reminder that we are only host and hostess for our children. As Kahlil Gibran told us...our children "are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself."

  22. Natalie, thank you so much dear friend for the words, you made me laugh and then smile, I know your right, she'll always be my baby. And yes, i am old enough!

    Ron, yes,thats so true, I think it'll take awhile to get used to this new situation, thank you for the kind words.

    Femin Susan, thank you.

    Geli, I knew you would understand and have just the right thing to say...i love that poem, its perfect, even though change is part of life, it is life, it's still hard to take sometimes.But I know your right.oh dear.Thank to you.

    Cynthia, Thank you for your compassion and kind words. I knew you would love this store...i decided on a crystal,one for healing and concentration, she'll need both for the times ahead, i thought.

    Thank you Tamara

    Oh Karen, you are right, they are only a few miles away, but out of the house it feels like thousands...I know you understand with your boys.I think i still feel a little shock, not to mention the empty spaces here.

    Gosh Janis, that was so beautiful and I want to say the very same thing back to you, I knew you'd understand.

    thank you everyone so much,
    xxxlove, lori

  23. Jeremy, thank you for taking the time to come here and then leaving such kind words, I think British Columbia is one of the most incredibly gorgeous places on earth.

    Val,yes you are right on all counts I think, and I think my daughter knew this better than I. I knew you would love this place, it's filled with love and they don't mind if you linger one bit. Shall I bring you something for your altar, Karen, you too?

    Thank you Crystal, I don't know if I can, i wonder? are we programmed because we're mothers?

    Colleen, that's a good question...I hope your Dad is doing ok with missing you. How's your husband feeling? I hope better.

    Coco, thanks! that's funny, but i know what you mean. What do we want??

    Dear Lover, you are so right. Thank you for saying these words, i really appreciate them so much. If you come out to the coast, I can take you to the Sacred Space, you'll love it...

    Jess, thanks sweetie, i didn't plan that, it just happened yesterday, my walk, the phone call, the place...I love when it works that way...thank you for dropping in :)

    Lanij, yes! how lovely you are, thank you for your kindness and understanding, it seems to me to be a mother is to join a wonderful sorority where we all understand each other instictively. Well, sometimes all we need to be is truly compassionate to know. I have friends that wear this badge too, without having taken that step. I so appreciate your words.

    Andrea, yes! i do know of both those books, and I'll look for them now that you've recommended them. Thank you so much for your sweet words, you have truly touched me my friend.

    Linda,thank you for your lovely comment, i love Kahlil Gibran and that quote is perfect. You are right, thank you for reminding me of that beautiful book.

    thank you everyone for the helpful and loving comments,
    xxx lori

  24. oh lori of light and sweetness... so hard, the mother love thing...and wow, what a shop...oh how i would spend hours and hours the horse sign!! hope it all pans out for your dear little family....righto. riding to school to drop the love always. janelle

  25. oh lori i feel your pain! i went through this for years with my two daughters-everytime they left getting over them took forever (even though i too was longing for the empty nest) then the day i had made a life they came back & fully re-invented me as their mom then left again!!! when my last daughter left last year i got rid of the house & packed my bags & have been "homeless" ever since! i love your blog-from the looks of it you are living in heaven~ox

  26. Oh Lori, our kids might be completely different ages but gosh we are soul sisters to the core.
    You inspire me
    I love you

  27. Letting go is harder than holding on, but then sometimes one lets go so one can hold on.

    The sacred space is where one can lean on the confidence the space gives us, and in time the longing within will find the strength to savour the distance that never was.

  28. Beautiful post.

    I am in the opposite position having just moved back home with my parents. Tonight is the first one without my boyfriend and I'm a bit scared.

  29. Beautiful post - my kids are too young, so I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I loved the tour of the place where you went to find the perfect gift for your daughter.

    Hey - check out my latest post - I found a book that has a cover simlar to you recent artwork :)

  30. That was a beautifully told story, with gorgeous images. I would like to live in the sacred place too. This looks like a little book to me. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog, I really appreciate the encouragement.

  31. Children leaving.......bittersweet. As long as they're happy, we can learn to live with it!

  32. Lori.. I am glad you enjoyed my post to you. When I found your blog I was surprised that we seemed to have some simalarities.It was sort of a kindred spirit feeling for me. Although, I haven't had the opportunity to travel as you have. You are so fortunate!
    I hope you will visit my blog one of these days. I haven't been blogging real long, but have found a real liking to it! Maybe that would be a real 'loving' to it :-)

  33. I love the pictures, denotes a certain peace to your soul.
    Thank you so much for sharing your experience,it's precious.

    Visit my blog

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  35. That was very appealing! Some Greek poetic lines say that "..Fire, you are burning, you don't get burnt!" See? The bond between a mother and her child is stong like fire, no matter where they live.

  36. What a wonderful bitter sweet post Lori.
    She must be very grateful to have you as a mum, so that she can walk away and know that it will be okay to do just that.
    Beautiful pictures , what an inspirational place to able to stop by.

  37. beautiufl post and imagery xx

  38. thanks Janelle darlin, i took the horse sign for you. It's of the Polo fields, down the road from me. You can watch the most beautiful horses in the world compete in exciting games every summer. And oh those Argentinians are pretty nice too, great horsemen!

    Maria, thank you so much, Of course with two daughters you'd know also!

    Michelle, the feeling is quite mutual sweetheart. Keep a strong heart. I'm thinking of you.

    Doublebanker, wow! thanks so much for saying that.

    Anil P., your words give me strengh, they are so appreciated. Thank you.

    Oh dear Sammi, this too shall pass. You are in another phase of life that will teach you much about yourself, your parents and your boyfriend. Be kind to yourself, ok? Big Hugs.

    Bhavana, It comes before you know it I found. I love that you compared my drawing to that book, thank you for that. Really.

    Dear Butternut Squash, the pleasure was mine, your blog is a treasure. Thank you for coming to mine.

    Andrea, THOSE are the magic words. Yes!!

    Lana, yes, i agree. I'll be over, thank you for inviting me!

    Arcadia, what a great thing to say, thank you so much, i really appreciate your words!

    wikiplugs, i will check it out.

    Maximus, I love that saying! I'll keep that in my heart, it's really lovely. Thank you.

    Firebyrd, i knew you'd feel this, we've got kids the same ages...on a happy note, it's as it should be, right? thank you

    Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to come here and leave such lovely heartfelt comments. I appreciate everysingleword.
    love, lori

  39. What a beautiful and poignant post! Of course you felt conflicted - who wouldn't?

    Best to your wonderful daughter and her kids, and to you, with your gracious and generous and loving heart!

  40. Hi Lori, Just wanted to thank You for being my friend when I really needed one. You are a very sweet person and I am doing a lot better today, thanks.♥♥

    Lots of big love to you,

  41. Hello Lisa! thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, I really appreciate your words.

    Thank you Reya. Your words mean so much to me. I don't know what other people think or would feel in this situation, but your compassion towards me makes me smile and say again, thank you.

    Natalie, i can't thank you enough for letting me know you are ok. You don't have to thank me for being your friend, that is the worlds easiest thing.
    Big Hugs and love back. Now go do something nice just for Natalie.♥♥♥

    xxx love, lori

  42. I'm just another old soul or something Lori...

    Glad you got a giggle from my silly blog post too.


  43. Oh Lori. As always, a wonderful thought provoking post - full of beautiful images, moments of reflection, words of love (and longing), and a gentle wisdom. You are very special - and so I know that your daughter and the doodles must be too. They will always be there with you, no matter how far away they might be - you know?

  44. Thank you for sharing thoses beaufiul photos along with your beautiful words.

    I don't imagine you to have an empty nest for long and may I suggest that you relish your free time. As you know children are boomerangs and they'll be back :-)
    Also you appear way to lovely for them to stay away too long.

    Best wishes Ribbon

  45. PS ooops that word is meant to read beautiful :-)

    the sacred space looks like a visit to Bali...... very beautiful also

  46. Meagan,that is just cool, i love old souls. i'm glad to know you.

    Tessa, thank you dear friend, really.get well.

    Ribbon, that's funny and very very sweet, i really appreciate your kind words.


  47. Great artwork!
    Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan.

  48. Lovely, and heartwarming and heartwrenching all at once. The Sacred Space is stunning. Thank you for all those photos. My favorite: the datura.

    My daughter is 12--she's my only child, and I ache inside wishing I had more. It's encouraging to read writing from mothers who are a little further down the path. Thank you.


xoxo lori